Six Types of Flight Simmer

February 26, 2018
Jason Row
nobody, apparently.

Pretty much most of the non flight simming community has stereotyped us in one way or another. We are middle aged men playing pilots, we are teen geeks pretending to fly, we are loners whose only friends are our ATC buddies. Of course every stereotype has to have some truth, I would probably fit nicely into the first of those. However as a community we are much greater than the stereotypes afforded to us by the Fuggles (Non flying folk). We are diverse, social, innovative and self deprecating. So in the spirit of that last trait, lets get into some self deprecation and reveal some of our own stereotypes

Gear Up Gary

We all know a Gary. He is the guy who spends so much time updating to the latest gear, he virtually never flies. As soon as the latest Radia NVAMD 7845TKI graphics card is released he is on it, beating the bit-coiners into submission with his financial clout by outbidding them on eBay at every turn. In the little time Gary has between installing his new hardware and buying the next, he likes to parade his latest purchases on Facebook in the form of  “look at my rig” photos.

Teen Expert Eddie

Eddie is an avid reader. Already by the age of 13 he has read the FCOM of every plane made in the last twenty years. Because of this, he is eminently capable of giving advice on how to fly an Airbus A320. Or at least he thinks he is. Every forum, every Facebook group has an Eddie. He is the guy telling the real world pilot that he should have pitched up another 1.25 degrees and reduced speed by 2.5 knots on landing. Of course in reality, the closest Eddie has ever been to the cockpit of an Airbus is when he walked past the door on one whilst boarding a flight to Benidorm with his mum.

Downbeat Dan

Another well known character amongst us simmers is Downbeat Dan, Dan rarely has a good thing to say about anything sim related. To him the people that have spent most of their lives and waking hours producing amazing add-ons simply have not tried hard enough. Of course if he was not so busy running a business he would do it better himself and make it freeware. But for now he would rather moan about every little detail than actually do some good for the community. If you ever go for a pint with Dan make sure to have the Samaritans on speed dial.

Screenshot Steve

Good old Screenshot Steve never really flies his simulator. He positions his plane using the map, adjusts the light to look great then fires off Shift - Spacebars until his hard drive bursts at the seams. He then selects two or three of the best, does a little Photoshop magic and uploads them to Facebook. As the likes roll in, he bumps his post up by saying thanks to every comment before heading back to the sim to take some more screens. Simming to Steve is about the likes not the flights

GA Joe

GA Joe only ever flies close to the ground in a Cessna. To him it aint flying if you cannot see the leaves on the trees. He regularly mocks Tubeliner Tony as a button presser. To Joe, GA is the only way and IFR means Idiotic Flight Rules. In Joe’s world the weather is always Cavok and the orthos always z19.

Tweaking Theresa

Another non flyer is Theresa. She is a serial tweaker. She will happily spend hours minutely tweaking data refs to get the best looking sim and great FPS. She will proudly upload her tweaks to groups and tell everyone to use them. Often, she cannot explain why all those that have tried her tweaks, cannot get X-Plane to run anymore. At which point she quietly disappears from the group until the fuss has died down.

If the non simming world wishes to buttonhole us into stereotypes, its only fair that we expand them with little simming humour. I am sure we have all met one, several or all of the types above. Let us know in the comments which simming stereotypes we have missed.

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